Too Late
by Sheppy
Summary: This is my alternate and more exciting ending for 'The Long Goodbye'. What if Teyla had shot? Contains Shepwhumping.. PS: Not a deathfic!
1. Chapter 1

**"TOO LATE" **

**A/N: Hey guys… I'm back. Just had my last exam today and have my well deserved semester break now, meaning that I finally have loads of time to get back to writing.**

**This story has been swirling around in my head for some time, ever since I saw 'The Last Goodbye'. I personally thought the episode was pretty good, but would have been much more powerful with a different ending. But – that's what we are for, isn't it?**

**Sooooo, here's my interpretation and I wouldn't be me if it didn't include some decent Shep-whumping… g**

**Spoiler warning: 'The Long Goodbye' – obviously.**

**Medical knowledge warning: ER-viewer here, not a med student…**

**Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis doesn't belong to me, neither do any of the characters used.**

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"Kill him!"

Teyla could not move. She still had her P-90 pointed at John, who was sitting tied up on the floor in front of her. Her brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to figure out a way around the inevitable. How could she shoot him? He was the most generous person she knew and now he was to die by her hands? How could she ever live with herself?

"Sheppard doesn't believe you'll do it." He said. It almost sounded as if he wanted to tempt her. Teyla knew this was not the John Sheppard she knew speaking, she had never seen those eyes so distant and cold.

Her hands began shaking. Did she have a choice? It was either John Sheppard or ¾ of the whole expedition. Although it was probably the hardest choice she would ever have to make in her life, it was one thought that did not leave room for another option – the thought that John would never forgive her or himself if she sacrified so many in order to save him.

"Forgive me, John." Teyla said cocking the rifle. Tears were already forming in her eyes and her face was full of pain, when she pulled the trigger.

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_**Meanwhile in the control room** _

"I've got it, I'm overriding her code now." McKay screamed, hammering on his keyboard.

"Are you sure?" Caldwell asked. They couldn't afford any mistakes in a situation such as this.

"It's done! Go!"

"Teyla, this is Caldwell. Do not fire! I repeat, do not fire!"

There was silence on the other end and nobody so much as moved in the control room. Beckett looked worried, McKay petrified, hanging onto his laptop for dear life.

"Teyla, what's your status?" Colonel Caldwell asked anxiously.

"It is too late." She replied quietly.

Dr. Beckett only hesitated for a few seconds, before he grabbed his case and ran out of the control room.

"Oh….my.. God. That can't be" McKay stuttered, his face pale.

Teyla still stood in the hallway, holding up her P-90 and staring at what she had done. If she had only waited one more minute. One more minute and this would have turned out differently.

But now it was too late. John Sheppard lay at her feet, a pool of blood already forming underneath him from the gunshot wound.

Teyla did not even notice the doors around her opening.

A groan was what pulled her out of her stupor. As soon as she realized where it came from, she dropped the weapon and knelt down to take a closer look at her friend.

Her instincts proved life-saving once again. Teyla had instinctively lowered the weapon the instant she shot and that last second move before pulling the trigger resulted in the bullet hitting the Colonel's side instead of his head – which would have been deadly for sure. However, now he was unconscious and bleeding, but at least still alive and breathing.

Teyla pressed her hand against the wound that was continuously oozing blood and tapped at her radio.

"I need Doctor Beckett here, now!"

She received an answer immediately: "He is already on his way, what's your situation?" Caldwell asked impatiently. In the control room, nobody had dared to hope that the Colonel was anything but dead.

"Colonel Sheppard is still alive. He has a gunshot wound to his side and is currently unconscious. I am doing my best to help him, but he needs Doctor Beckett." She said, panic already threatening to take over again.

"He should be with you any second now. Stand by Teyla."

"I will." She shifted her attention to Sheppard's face when she felt him tense.

However, he was not regaining consciousness as she had hoped, but going into convulsions. At first, Teyla thought the wound was causing them, but she did remember Doctor Beckett telling her that the Colonel's and Dr. Weir's bodies would start convulsing when Thalan's and Phebus' consciousnesses began to fade.

She tried her best to keep him down as well as keeping pressure on the wound, which wasn't an easy task.

Teyla was more than relieved when she heard hurried footsteps coming closer.

"Doctor Beckett! Over here." She called out when she saw him at the end of the floor.

He was by her side immediately.

Carson didn't have time to express his relief over finding the Colonel still alive. The man was still convulsing and Teyla seemed to have a hard time keeping him down.

"OK, ya just keep pressin' on the wound, I'll hold him down." He instructed. They'd have to ride out the convulsions before he could take a closer look at the wound.

It took about 3 minutes until the convulsions died down and the Colonel's body went slack.

Carson had to wipe his sweaty forehead, it had taken a lot of effort to keep the stronger man from aggravating his injury even further.

"Step aside, Love, would ya?"

"Of course, I am sorry." Teyla apologized and moved away to give the Doctor the space he needed. She noticed his friendly expression was immediately turning grim when he pressed on the wound on the right side of the Colonel's abdomen.

"Doctor Beckett? What is wrong?" She asked concerned.

Carson shook his head: "This isn't good at all. The abdomen is rigid. He's got internal bleedin', probably his spleen. We need ta get him to surgery as soon as possible." He explained while putting another dressing over the old, soaked one.

Both Teyla and Carson were so caught up in the Colonel's condition that neither of them noticed the figure approaching from behind.

"Step away from him, both of you!"

Teyla instantly hurled around, grabbing her knife only to face Dr. Weir pointing a weapon at them.

"Drop it or I'll shoot him." She threatened with a malicious grin.

Teyla hesitantly dropped her knife and stepped aside.

"Now, step away from him, Carson." She requested coldly.

"Don't do this, Elizabeth. If we don't stop the bleedin' soon, he's gonna die. Elizabeht, I know yer in there somewhere." Carson tried to reason with her.

"You're wasting your breath, Carson. Believe me, there's nothing more I want to see than him dieing a slow and painful death."

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**So, that's it for now. I know it's short, I just wanna know what you guys think so far and if it's worth continuing?**

**Pllllleeeeaaaaasssseeee review, makes my little fingers type faster..**

**PS: If you liked this, you should probably go and check out my other story 'Almost Healthy'... **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, thanks for the wonderful reviews, they really made my day…**

**And I have to say: I'm kinda relieved, cause before I discovered the wonderful world of fanfiction, I always thought I was the only weirdo obsessed with whumping my favourite characters. Now I know there's lots of other weirdo's **

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_Control Room_

"Come on, McKay. Get me the control of the city back. She's still out there."

"Yes, Colonel. I am painfully aware of that. Now if you'd just shut your mouth, stop distracting me and let me work." Rodney spat. He did not have the patience to deal with Caldwell right now.

Colonel Caldwell turned around and sighed. Although he should be used to McKay's attitude by now, the man never ceased to amaze him.

"Major, are you at Teyla's position, yet?" he tapped on his radio.

"No Sir, not yet. Weir must be around here somewhere, we have to be careful." Major Lorne replied quietly. He wasn't going to let her overpower him, again.

"Alright, Major, but let me know the moment you have a visual of either one."

"Will do, Lorne out."

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_Somewhere in Atlantis_

"Why are you so full of hatred?" Teyla asked, preparing to strike the moment the other woman let down her guard.

Phebus only laughed: "Oh, don't even go there with me, Teyla. I know what you're trying to do…" She fumbled with her vest pocket, never taking her eyes off of her two prisoners who were now standing several feet away from her. She threw the plastic handcuffs at Carson's feet. "Now bind her hands."

"But, Elizabeth…" Carson tried to stall her. He was certain Caldwell had sent some of his men to help by now.

"You're playing with my patience, Carson." She said, pointing her weapon at Sheppard's unconscious form and cocking the rifle. "I have no problems with killing him whatsoever."

The determined look in her eyes told Carson that she meant what she said. He picked up the bonds and secured Teyla's outstretched hands. "I'm sorry, lass…"

"It is alright, you have no choice." Teyla said reassuringly.

"That's what I'm talking about." Phebus replied mockingly. She looked down at the Colonel's still form. "Well, I think we could use a little more privacy… There's a nice small room over there." She pointed to the right "Now, Carson. You take care of Thalan here, I don't think he can walk."

"That's not even Thalan anymore. He left before ye got here." Carson argued, but already knelt down to check on the wound.

"He left, huh? You think I'm stupid? And stop doing that, just grab his shoulders and pull him over into that room." Phebus replied impatiently. She knew she didn't have a lot of time left, she could already feel herself beginning to fade. In fact, she wasn't even sure if it really was still Thalan, but she couldn't care less, either. She wanted revenge. Somebody was dieing by her hands today and if it wasn't Thalan, she'd make sure it was John Sheppard.

She pushed Teyla into the small room, tied her hands around a cane and waited until Carson was through the door with Thalan before closing it and removing the control crystals to lock it.

The sudden movement made Sheppard stir.

"I think he is waking up." Teyla stated. She could not stand feeling so helpless. She was the one who caused the injury and was unable to help the Colonel now.

"Aye, he is.."

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The first thing John noticed when he became aware was white hot pain. He felt a strong grip on his arms. Somebody was moving him, causing his burning side even more pain. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was Teyla pointing a gun at him. Hold on…. Had she really shot him? Sure felt like it.

John tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids refused to move. He let out a small groan instead and was equally surprised when he actually heard a sound coming out of his mouth.

Was he back in control after all? He had tried kicking and screaming to get everybody's attention when Thalan had occupied his body, but nothing would come out of his mouth.

He could make out distant voices, but couldn't figure out who they belonged to.

However, he was ripped into full awareness when somebody kicked him in the side, sending his body through pure agony and causing him to cry out in pain.

"Ahhh…" he whimpered.

"Are ye bloody daft? Yer gonna kill him!" Carson yelled, kneeling down. He rummaged around his pocket and found the small syringe he was looking for.

"What are you doing? Give that to me!" Phebus demanded, holding out her hand.

"It's just something for the pain…" Carson tried to reason with her.

"Give it to me!" She replied in a cold voice.

It took awhile until Sheppard had regained his composure enough to be able to open his eyes.

He didn't know why somebody would want to kick him when he was already on the ground, but he had the feeling that it wasn't good. The fact alone, that he was on the ground and not in an uncomfortable infirmary bed told him he was in trouble.

And the pain in his head and side wouldn't subside, either.

"C….Carson?" he asked, surprised at how weak his voice sounded. His eyes still wouldn't open.

"Aye, Lad. I'm here." He tried to sound reassuring.

"Now, get away, I wanna talk to Thalan." Phebus pushed Carson to the side with the tip of her P-90. "And don't try to do anything stupid, this is always pointed at his head." She added.

"So, Thalan. How are you feelin'? I see, pretty Teyla over there followed my orders and she sure did a good job. This must really hurt." She said spitefully, pressing her knee against the wound.

"Aah… m'not….Thalan." Sheppard whispered breathlessly, lines of pain surrounding his face.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you!" Phebus replied with a grin, pressing down her knee even harder.

"You are a cruel woman. He has not done anything to you, why does it satisfy you so much to hurt him?" Teyla asked. She could not watch this any longer. Her friend was writhing in agony and Phebus seemed to enjoy just that.

"He was the cause thousands of my people had to die a painful death. Now is the time for revenge!"

"But this isn't Thalan anymore. Don't ya understand? Yer killin' an innocent man who just wanted ta help ya!"

"Oh, just shut up, both of you! You're getting on my nerves." She yelled.

The conversation between Teyla, Carson and Phebus gave Sheppard some time to catch his breath.

So, that's what this was all about. Phebus still had the control over Elizabeth and she thought that he was still Thalan.

"It is….me….you want." He said weakly: "Let them….go!" he suggested, drawing her attention back to him.

"Awww, look who's turned all self-sacrificing all of a sudden…. Just quit the act, Thalan. You should know I'm smarter than that."

Sheppard sighed. Warm blood was still dripping out of the wound and despite the pain, he was starting to feel woozy because of the blood loss.

He knew he didn't have much time.

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Major Lorne and his team warily turned around another corner. McKay had tried to explain to them where exactly Teyla's position was, but the scientist had seemed to be preoccupied at that moment and this city was damn large. Every corridor looked the same, too.

However, Lorne knew that they had to be close. He considered calling out to Teyla, but the chance of Dr. Weir hovering close by, waiting to shoot was too high. He couldn't compromise his or Teyla's position.

When the team moved across the hallway, Major Lorne noticed a brighter spot on the ground where the light was reflecting.

"Colonel?"

"Yes, Major. Go ahead." Caldwell replied immediately.

"We just found a pool of fresh blood, but nobody seems to be in sight."

"Check out the area, but be careful. This could be a trap."

"Understood Colonel, Lorne out." He answered.

"Major!" A young lieutenant on his team called. He was standing a few yards away from him waving him over. "Here's more blood." Collins said, pointing to the ground.

"Looks like dragging marks… And they lead to that door." He said, sliding his hands over the control crystal attached to the wall next to the door. However, it remained shut.

Major Lorne tapped on his radio again. "Colonel, I think we found them and we're probably too late. We have dragging marks leading to a closed door. It's locked."

"Ok, I don't want you to do anything, yet. Just stand tight." Caldwell ordered.

"Understood, we'll wait for further instructions. Lorne out."

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"Just let me stop the bleedin' and start an IV. If he goes into shock, he's not gonna last much longer." Carson said, looking desperate.

Phebus started to consider his suggestion. She could tell that John Sheppard's body was slowly shutting down. He looked pale and had just started shivering.

She did want to have some more fun with Thalan or Sheppard. Whoever was in there right now- she wasn't finished with him.

"OK, do it."

Dr. Beckett immediately knelt down and grabbed his bag. The Colonel's eyes looked distant, his face was flushed.

"I'm sorry, lad. This is gonna hurt a wee bit." Carson explained sympathetically, receiving a soft nod from the Colonel.

"Remember… I've got…a high threshold….for pain." John answered, trying to sound reassuring. His weak voice didn't help much.

He saw Carson smile and closed his eyes without another word, bracing himself for the pain.

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**You made it! Another chapter and so soon. Told you, I'm in the semester break, and have a lot of time. So this story should come along nicely, if I don't suffer from writer's block…**

**Did you love the cliffhanger? It was only a mini one, though. evilgrin**

**PS: tognitnj told me that I tend to get my grammar mixed up. I'm doing my best, but my English is not perfect, so I have a question: Would anybody whose native language is English be interested in checking my chapters for mistakes before I post?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, thanks for the amazing reviews again. I was reallyoverwhelmed! I've also listened to your suggetions to get someone to beta-read my stories (can only make them better.)...**

**Kathleen: Thanks again, couldn't have doneit without you! hugs**

**Oh, and I was LMAO when every second review mentioned my mistake at end, calling Shep "Lass". I do knowthe difference, I have no idea what's gotten into me. Must have been distracted... Or maybe it was sub-consciously? (Ha, I'm evil!) **

**Enough of that... ENJOY!**

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_Storage Room_

"Okay, I'm gonna apply pressure to the wound now ta stop the bleedin'…ya ready?"

"No…" Sheppard answered truthfully and groaned in pain when the doctor pressed the cloth against the wound. His vision began to swim, followed by a sudden, intense wave of nausea.

He tried to warn Carson that he was going to be sick, but his gagging reflex was already setting in before he could get his mouth open.

John felt himself being turned on his side as he vomited. The little he brought up left a metallic taste in his mouth. The pain was killing him, making it hard to breathe.

"This isn't gonna do any good. He has internal bleedin'. I need ta get him to surgery!" Carson was angry and frustrated. Sheppard was on the verge of bleeding to death right in front of him, and the help he could provide at the moment was limited.

"He is not leaving this room!" Phoebus replied.

"Then just let me give him something for the pain," he pleaded. Sheppard's breathing was rapid and shallow, and his face twisted into a grimace of pain.

"Please, do not be so heartless," Teyla urged.

"NO! I want him to suffer just like my people did. He deserves nothing more than a slow and painful death! And I am going to watch!"

"But…."

"End of discussion!" Phoebus interrupted cold-heartedly. These people were really starting to get on her nerves, and the pounding headache wasn't helping. She knew it had to be a sign that the imprinting wouldn't last much longer.

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_Control room_

"McKay?"

"It's a storage room. Only one entrance, no security camera. But the good thing is there are four life signs." Rodney had managed to calm down somewhat now that he knew Sheppard was still alive. However, judging by Teyla's reaction earlier, he was probably hurt. He was relieved that Carson was with them.

"Major, can you hear anything from in there?" Caldwell asked.

"No sir, nothing."

"Ah, that would be because every room in Atlantis is completely soundproof. Seems like the Ancients really valued their privacy," Rodney explained.

"So, we have two options. We can blow the door open with C4, risk having somebody hurt in the explosion and Weir shooting everybody, or we just wait until the alien consciousness is gone…what do you think, Major?"

"To be honest, sir, I don't think we have a choice. I've seen her in action. If we just wait and do nothing, she'll kill everyone before she goes," Lorne replied.

"I think he's right," Rodney added.

"Yeah. I do, too. Major, prepare everything, and tell me when you're ready."

"Yes, sir!"

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_Storage Room_

"How are ya holdin' up, son?" Carson asked.

He was just inserting the IV-needle, and his patient looked about ready to pass out. His shivering had increased, and his breathing was becoming more and more shallow. Plus, Carson was afraid that Phoebus wouldn't hesitate to shoot the man as soon as he lost consciousness and the "fun" was over.

"Stop… poking me…" Sheppard answered, his voice barely audible.

"Believe me, you need it," he said quietly, turning around to face Phoebus. "He's goin' into shock."

"Oh really? Well in that case, don't waste your skills and your time, doc." Phoebus knelt down to face Sheppard. "That's what I wanted to see all along – only weakness and defeat left in those eyes. Looks like we've won the war after all, Thalan."

"You are insane! Can you not see? This is John Sheppard, Thalan is long gone!" Teyla yelled, struggling to get free.

"Victory is with my people!" Phoebus stood up but kept the barrel of her gun pointed at Sheppard's head. White hot pain was starting to creep up on the fringes of her conciousness, and she knew that her time was over. "Now, say goodbye to your friend!"

"Noooooo!"

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_Control Room_

"Ok, we're ready, Colonel."

Caldwell only hesitated for a second. "Alright, then let's hope they're not too close to the door. I already sent a medical team down there; I'm sure they'll be needed…you have a go!" he commanded.

"Yes, sir!"

They all held their breath when they heard the sound of the explosion rip through the speakers.

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_Storage Room_

Phoebus was just about to pull the trigger when the door behind her exploded, the force throwing her halfway across the room. Her last conscious thought was of failing her people before her head hit the nearest wall, sending her into oblivion.

As soon as the smoke subsided, Major Lorne's team stepped through the rubble, armed with stun guns.

"She is….unconscious," Teyla yelled between coughs. She was still tied to the cane at the other end of the room. The Major could make out a huddled form on the floor to his right.

"You alright, doc?" Lorne asked when he made out the doctor coughing on the ground a few feet away from him.

"I need a medical team down here!" Carson yelled, crawling through the dirt.

"They're on their way. Where's the….?" The question died in his throat when Major Lorne saw the pale face just in front of his feet. His CO was half covered in dust; Lorne had almost stepped on him. He immediately knelt down to brush away the dirt.

"Colonel?" he asked, but Sheppard was completely unconscious. It didn't surprise him. In fact, Sheppard's face was so pale, Lorne suddenly had to feel for his pulse to reassure himself that he was still alive. It was there, but even he could tell that it was too slow and too faint.

"Step aside, son." The Scottish voice urged, Beckett already pulling on his arm. "And radio the infirmary – tell them ta get five units of 0-negative and an OR ready."

"Of course," The Major answered, surprised at how fast the doctor had regained his composure.

"And where the hell is that medical team?"

"We're here, sir…" a rushed voice answered. The two paramedics were just stepping over the debris with a gurney.

"Thank God! Now listen, everybody. We have no time ta lose. He's lost a lot of blood and we need ta get him to surgery immediately."

"OK 1…2…3." They lifted the still form onto the gurney. Carson was affixing an oxygen mask to his face while they carefully carried him out the door.

"Is he going to be alright, Doctor Beckett?" Teyla yelled after them. Somebody was fumbling with her restraints.

"I don't know, lass. I don't know."

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_Control Room_

"Major, if you can hear me, please respond!" Caldwell called impatiently. Lorne hadn't answered his last two hails, and he was starting to get worried.

"Sorry, Colonel. I was kinda busy. The plan worked, and Dr. Weir is incapacitated. Dr. Beckett and Teyla are alright, and they're rushing the Colonel to the infirmary right now," Lorne answered.

"How is he?"

"I'm no doctor, but it looked pretty serious."

"Alright, meet you at the infirmary?" Caldwell asked. McKay had already headed there a few minutes ago.

"I'm on my way. Lorne out."

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_Somewhere in the hallway_

"D….Doc?" Carson would have missed it had one of his paramedics not tapped at his shoulder and directed his attention to the gurney. They had almost reached the infirmary.

"Yes, lad. Everything is going to be just fine. We'll fix ya up in no time."

Carson realized that the Colonel wanted to tell him something and temporarily removed the oxygen mask, so he could talk more easily. "Tell Teyla…she…did… the right thing," he whispered with the last amount of strength he had left.

"Yer gonna tell her that yerself, son," Carson reassured him, but Sheppard had already lost his grip on consciousness again.

When they burst through the infirmary doors, his operating room team was already sterile and waiting for them.

"I'll go wash up. Kelly, would you hook up the first unit and get him prepped?"

"Of course, Doctor."

Carson washed up in record time. He was well aware of the fact that every second counted, and when he opened the door to the operating room, he was just in time to hear one of his nurses yell, "He's coding!"

He dropped his towel and ran over to the operating table the Colonel was lying on. Kelly was already doing CPR, and another nurse was handing the defibrillator paddles to him.

"Charge to 120!" he yelled.

"Clear!" He pressed the paddles on the Colonel's chest and pushed the button, sending an electric shock through his body.

"Still in V-fib!"

"150!"

"Clear!"

"Still no change."

"Damn it, son. You've come this far!" Carson screamed. "Charge to 200!"

"And Clear!"

Sheppard's body jolted again.

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**Looks like I couldn't resist - again!**

**I just really hope this works better for you now. It certainly does for me. Thanks AGAIN, Kathleen (EclecticTrekker)...**

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Something I forgot to say last time: Thanks for all the people who offered to beta my stories.. I didn't know who to choose, so I just took the first one that offered, so no offence intended (I hope all of you know that).**

**Reviews are still great, I'm feeling spoiled... **

**Thanks Kathleen, you returned it really fast. **

**

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_Previously: _

"_Charge to 200!"_

"_And Clear!"_

_Sheppard's body jolted again._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

_Beep…………….beep……….beep….beep_..

"We've got a pulse!"

"That's it, lad. Come on now, keep it up…" Carson urged. It was the second time today that he'd had to remove a bullet from one of the expedition members, but the Colonel's condition proved to be much more serious than Ronon's. The Satedan was out of the woods already, which was hardly the case with Sheppard.

"Blood pressure is increasing to 70/30."

"How many units are in?"

"That's the second one. He's losing it faster than he's getting it," Kelly said in a frustrated manner.

"Aye, we have ta hurry. If he codes again…." Carson didn't have to finish the sentence. He could tell by the look in their eyes that his staff was well aware of how serious the situation was. Although they were all experienced professionals in the medical field, it was still painfully different when they knew the person on the operating table. And John Sheppard was very popular among all of them.

"Alright everybody, ye know what ta do!"

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_Infirmary Waiting Area_

"Colonel Caldwell! Finally! Do you know anything about Sheppard?" McKay asked hurriedly when he saw the Colonel approach.

"I just got here. They haven't told you anything?"

"What kind of question is that? Would I ask you if you knew how he was if they'd told me anything? I'm not the news man here. They just keep rushing in and out of there, but nobody bothers to answer my questions or pay any attention to me. What, am I suddenly invisible?" he asked angrily.

"They're probably busy, McKay." The short time Colonel Caldwell had spent with these people had taught him some very important things: Sheppard was very loyal to his team, but either seemed to contract trouble wherever he went or have an unnaturally well-defined hero complex. McKay, on the other hand, was the smartest man he knew and would probably ever know, but he tended to be extremely irritable when worried or afraid.

And the man was definitely worried now.

"Colonel!" Major Lorne and Teyla suddenly appeared in the waiting room.

"How is Colonel Sheppard?" Teyla asked. She was still covered in dust from the explosion, but it did little to hide her haunted face and mangled, swollen wrists.

"There is no news, not yet. Why don't you go and let one of the nurses check you out? I'm sure this is going to take a while," he offered. Teyla really looked as though she was ready to pass out.

"I was the one who shot him, Colonel," she replied sternly. "I am going to stay right here and wait with you."

Caldwell chose not to argue with the Athosian. The woman was very determined, and if it made her feel better, she should stay. Although she had no other choice but to shoot Sheppard, Caldwell knew she felt incredibly guilty, and he could hardly help feeling sorry for her.

"What about Weir?" he directed the question to Major Lorne.

"She's already here. Hit her head pretty hard in the explosion, so a nurse is taking care of that right now."

"OK, make sure to keep her restrained, in case she wakes up."

"Already done, sir."

Caldwell was pleasantly surprised. He didn't know the major that well, but the man seemed like he had everything under control. He still wasn't happy that someone as young as Colonel Sheppard, with his spotty record, was commanding Atlantis, but he had to admit - Sheppard was doing a better job than he would have ever given him credit for. He had this base well under control, and the most important thing was that his men trusted him, something he himself had found difficult to accomplish at times.

McKay's whining voice yanked him out of his thoughts. "Teyla, do you know anything other than 'he got shot' about the Colonel's injury? I mean, you were the one who shot him!"

Teyla glared at the scientist.

"Better watch your tongue, McKay." Lorne stepped in. He hadn't missed the accusatory tone in McKay's voice.

"Do you think I found it enjoyable to have to pull the trigger on him? To shoot my best friend?" she asked, overwhelming hurt now replacing the look of anger in her eyes.

Rodney looked down, suddenly ashamed of himself. Why did his mouth always have to go a thousand miles per hour? "I'm sorry, Teyla. I didn't mean to…."

But Teyla interrupted his apology. "Doctor Beckett said that the bullet most likely punctured the Colonel's spleen, causing him to bleed internally. That is all I can tell you."

When another nurse rushed out of the operating area, McKay took his chance and grabbed her by the arm. Her scrubs had some fresh blood stains on them. "You have to tell us what's happening in there! I won't let you go until you do."

The nurse looked perplexed at first, but her eyes softened when she saw the concerned faces of those gathered. "He's in surgery right now. Dr. Beckett is removing the bullet and trying to fix the internal injuries…"

"Will he be alright?" Teyla asked quietly.

"There's no way to tell yet. He's lost a great deal of blood. We're giving him transfusions to compensate for the loss, but his body is very weak." She paused. "I really have to go now. Dr. Beckett is doing his best. I'll tell him to come out here to talk with you as soon as he's finished," she added with a reassuring smile. Hurrying into one of the medical storage rooms to their right, she grabbed some kind of basin and disappeared again into the OR area.

McKay sighed. Although he hadn't really expected any good news, he had hoped for something a little more encouraging.

"Well, I guess this is going to take a while. I'm gonna go see how Ronon is doing…. Teyla, you want to come with?" Major Lorne asked. He thought Teyla could use the distraction – the Athosian looked shellshocked.

She looked uncomfortably at him and then cast a tentative glance over to McKay, unsure of what to do.

Rodney immediately noticed her hesitation. "Go ahead. We'll stay here and come get you if anything happens," he assured her, still feeling horribly for blaming her earlier.

"Alright," she answered with a shaky voice.

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_Infirmary_

Ronon's bed was located at the end of the infirmary in a curtained off area to give him some privacy. The nurse on duty told Major Lorne that he had been moved from the intensive care unit only minutes before.

When Lorne and Teyla made their way through the infirmary, they passed a few empty beds.

One, however, was occupied.

Teyla wasn't prepared to see Dr. Weir again so soon, but there she was, lying peacefully in front of her. She was either still unconscious or sedated, and her wrists were in restraints.

Teyla took a deep breath and kept walking. She knew that Dr. Weir was not to blame for Phoebus' actions, but it was still her body, her voice that gave Teyla the order to shoot.

She would have to deal with that later.

Upon reaching Ronon's bed, Teyla and Lorne could hear the Satedan snoring quietly.

However, when the major drew back the curtains, Ronon slowly opened his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked hoarsely before he gratefully took the glass of water Teyla held out to him.

"You were shot, Ronon," she explained.

"I know that…I meant, what happened to you? You look like hell! And what about Weir and Sheppard?" The Satedan began fumbling with his blankets, trying to get up when the memory of the last few hours came back to him. He hissed in pain when the movement aggravated his injury.

Teyla pressed him back onto the bed with one strong hand. "You have to stay in bed, Ronon. It is over. You cannot do anything to help."

Ronon did what she asked. He wasn't sure what to make of her reaction and looked at Major Lorne for an explanation, but the man was studiously avoiding his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice now louder and more urgent.

When Teyla hesitated again, Lorne answered for her. "To make a long story short, Phoebus made Teyla shoot Colonel Sheppard by threatening to release a gas that would have killed most of the expedition. Then she took Teyla, Beckett and the Colonel hostage. We managed to get them free, incapacitate Phoebus and rush the Colonel to the infirmary. Dr. Beckett is still working on him."

Ronon was stunned. All this had happened while he had been asleep. "How's Sheppard?"

"We do not know. His condition was not good when we got him here, we can only hope and trust that Doctor Beckett…" Teyla said softly, tears forming in her eyes. She was on the verge of a breakdown.

"I'm sure he's gonna be fine, guys, even if it's just because he won't let Caldwell run this base. All the fun would be over…" Lorne said, stroking Teyla's shoulder. His attempt to lighten up the mood, however, failed miserably. Even Ronon looked incredibly worried now.

When they heard McKay suddenly call for them, Teyla was out the door immediately. Major Lorne helped Ronon, who was climbing out of bed, to his feet before the pair also hurried over to the waiting area.

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Carson hesitated for a second and took a deep breath before he opened the door to the waiting area. When Rodney caught sight of him, he instantly shot up from his seat and yelled, "TEYLA, LORNE!"

The Athosian appeared only a few moments later. Ronon, who was supported by Major Lorne, entered closely behind her.

Carson opened his mouth to protest about Ronon being out of bed, but he knew he had more important things to say right now, and he needed to choose his words carefully.

tbc

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**I know this was kind of slow, but I felt I needed to show how everybody (well, almost everybody) reacts...**

**Hope I didn't bore you too much.**

** PS: I'm really proud of myself for updating regularly g **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I forgot to mention something last time. I want to thank everybody who offered to beta my stories very much! Most of the stories on FF wouldn't be as good, if there weren't people like you who are willing to help! group hug**

**I'm sorry it took me a little longer this time, but I guess I was and still am so caught up in watching the olympics that I hardly had any time left (GO GERMANY!)**

**Thanks Kathleen for making it better once again! **

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_Waiting Area_

Carson was more than perplexed by the silence he was greeted with. He had expected Rodney to bombard him with questions as soon as he set foot into the waiting area, but everybody – including Rodney – was only staring at him in anxious silence, the room filled with tension.

Realizing that they must be fearing the worst, he decided to get right to the point.

"He's alive," Carson exclaimed, earning a universal sigh of relief. "But it was a close call, and he's not out of the woods yet."

"How bad is it?" Colonel Caldwell was the first to recover. The surgery had taken more than 4 hours, and considering Beckett's haggard appearance, it hadn't been an easy one.

"Well, we had ta take out his spleen, and it took me some time ta stop all the bleeding. In spite of the transfusions, we're still having some trouble keepin' his blood pressure up. The next 48 hours will tell if his body is strong enough ta recuperate."

"He might not wake up?" Teyla asked fearfully.

"It is really too early ta tell, but we all know Colonel Sheppard. It takes more than one bullet ta drag him down."

"Sure does…" Ronon mumbled, catching the doctor's attention. He was starting to lean on Major Lorne heavily.

"You're getting back into that bed now!" Carson ordered. Before Ronon could protest, the major was already leading him away from the group and back into the infirmary.

"And all of you, get some rest, too! Ya can't do anything here."

Colonel Caldwell gave the doctor a reassuring nod before he turned to leave, joined by a quiet and contemplative McKay. Carson made a mental note to talk to Rodney later – the scientist was uncharacteristically quiet.

Teyla, however, did not show the slightest inclination of leaving.

"Is something wrong, love? Are ya not feeling well?"

"Can I see him?"

Carson frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea, lass. I'm keepin' him sedated for the time being, and he really needs to rest now."

"Please. I just need to see with my own eyes that he is still with us." The despair in the Athosian's voice made Carson's heart melt. He realized that her road to recovery would probably take nearly as long as the Colonel's. If there was one for him at all.

"Alright, but only for a minute," he said softly, giving in.

"Thank you, Dr. Beckett."

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_Recovery Room_

Teyla opened the door with mixed feelings. On one hand, she was certain that she would feel better if she saw him with her own eyes. On the other hand, she recoiled at the sight.

No matter how many times she saw the Colonel in such a state, after one of his many encounters with death, she could never get used to this. Seeing him attached to various machines to keep him alive still made her shudder.

But this time was different. This time, it was her bullet that had torn through his skin, her face that he had seen when his world exploded into nothing but pain.

She stopped just inside the door, causing Carson to bump into her. She couldn't force herself to go in any farther.

It was because of her that he was lying there right now, attached to all those machines.

Teyla wondered if he could ever forgive her…if he ever woke up, that was.

"He said ya did the right thing," Carson said quietly, patting her arm.

"Excuse me?"

"Just before he lost consciousness…he told me ta tell ya that you did the right thing."

Teyla's head dropped, tears forming in her eyes. "I should have waited."

"Ya didn't have a choice," Carson tried to reason.

"If I had waited one more minute, he would not be lying here."

"Teyla, listen ta me." He turned her around to face her teary eyes. "If ya had waited one more minute, hundreds of people might have been killed. He knows that. Everybody knows that. Nobody's blamin' ya!"

"I am!" she said bluntly, broke away from his grip, and ran out of the infirmary without looking back.

"I can see that, lass," Carson said to himself.

He walked over to the only bed, checking the settings of heart monitor and ventilator. The last unit of blood was still running, as well as an IV with fluids.

The doctor looked down at the pale and unconscious figure. "You need ta get better, son. For all our sakes, don't give up now!"

Carson knew that it could go either way. It was a miracle he'd gotten this far with the massive blood loss, but his team had repaired all the damage in the surgery. It was all up to the Colonel now; they couldn't do much more to help.

"Dr. Beckett?" He hadn't even noticed Kelly come in. "I just wanted to let you know that Dr. Weir just woke up. She seems to be back to her normal self," she explained.

"I'll be right there." Kelly nodded and left.

The news had taken him a bit by surprise. He had been too busy with Sheppard to think about Dr. Weir in the last few hours, but he knew he'd have to deal with her eventually and doubted she'd take the news any easier than Teyla.

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Before Carson approached Elizabeth's bed, he waved Kelly – who was standing next to Weir, noting something on a chart – over to his side.

"Yes, doctor?"

"I haven't been able to have a look at her when she was unconscious. How is she?"

"She has a mild concussion and a few cuts and scrapes, which I cleaned and bandaged while she was still unconscious. Otherwise, she's fine – physically. I still have her restrained, because I wanted you to have a look at her first, but I'm pretty sure it's really her."

"Thank you, Kelly."

"No problem…you should go over there now. She seems pretty depressed. And you should get some sleep afterwards too – you look like you need it!" she added sympathetically.

Carson nodded and slowly made his way over to Dr. Weir's bedside. He wasn't looking forward to this discussion, and Kelly was right – he was bone-tired.

Elizabeth didn't even look up when he came to a halt next to her bed. She was looking at the ceiling with expressionless eyes.

"Elizabeth, how are ya feelin'?" Carson asked, already loosening her restraints. One look into her eyes had been enough to convince him that it was really their expedition leader.

"You should leave them on…" she replied, her voice broken.

"There's no need, I know it's you!"

"Did I kill him?" Carson didn't think he had ever seen Elizabeth this sad.

"Excuse me?" he asked unbelievingly.

She turned to look him in the eyes. "Did I kill him, Carson?"

"No, he's alive. And ya had nothin' ta do with what Phebus did. She was just using yer body and nobody's blamin' ya." Carson was aware of the deja-vu, he had just told Teyla the same thing only a few minutes ago, and it hadn't worked too well with her.

"He's alive? That doesn't sound so promising." She had completely ignored the part about Phebus but succeeded in distracting Carson into going over more details about the Colonel's condition. She did not want to hear that it wasn't her fault right now, it did nothing to lessen her guilt she was feeling.

"Well, he's not completely out of the woods yet, but he's a strong lad, he'll make it."

Elizabeth couldn't tell by Carson's look whether the doctor was telling the truth or just sugar-coating things for her.

"Is he awake?"

"I'm keepin' him sedated for now, so his body can heal without disturbance."

Elizabeth nodded. She knew it was no use asking Carson to be allowed to visit John, so she didn't even try.

"OK, I want ya ta get some sleep now, it has been a hard day for all of us. Maybe I can tell ya more about Colonel Sheppard in the morning."

Elizabeth agreed, mostly so she would be left alone. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. This was a totally new feeling to her. She had been a negotiator all her life, always trying to work out the best solution for everyone involved. Overwhelming, consuming guilt had never much of been an issue for her.

After Carson had quietly left, she laid back, preparing herself for a long, sleepless night.

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_The next morning_

When Carson entered the infirmary at 9 o'clock, Rodney was already waiting for him. He was obviously arguing with Kelly about something. The normally unflappable nurse looked about ready to explode.

"Good morning."

"There you are, finally! I hope you had a good-night's sleep," he said sarcastically.

Carson frowned. The last thing he needed right now was Rodney bitching at him. He felt guilty enough as it was. He hadn't expected to be able to get any sleep at all, but must have been more exhausted than he thought. As soon as his head had hit the pillow last night, he was fast asleep, waking up just half an hour ago.

"She won't let me visit the Colonel," Rodney added, pointing at the spot where Kelly had been standing. The nurse, however, had taken the first opportunity of Rodney's distraction and made a bolt for it.

"Rodney, I _told_ you yesterday…" he started to explain impatiently, but was interrupted by Kelly's yell.

"Dr. Beckett!"

He didn't waste any time and burst through the door with Rodney hot on his heels.

Both were fearing the worst, but as they rushed towards the only bed, Carson could make out the Colonel struggling weakly.

"He's awake!" He was more than surprised to see his patient awake already. The sedative he had given him last night should have been enough to knock him out for a few more hours.

Carson bent down and flashed his penlight into his patient's eyes, only succeeding in making him struggle even more.

"It's OK, John. Yer in the infirmary," he said soothingly. "Don't try ta speak, we have ya on the ventilator," he added.

Colonel Sheppard calmed down immediately. Carson figured that he'd woken up to a tube down his throat so many times in the last few months, it was hardly reason for him to panic anymore.

"Are you in any pain?" he asked, receiving a mild nod from Sheppard before he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Alright, I'm gonna give ya something ta put ya to sleep." Kelly already had a syringe of morphine ready. Carson quickly emptied its contents into the IV and took the chart from the nurse.

It only took a few seconds until the Colonel's eyes fluttered shut.

"Why'd you put him back to sleep already? I wanted to talk to him." Rodney asked, leaning on Carson to get a better look at the Colonel.

The doctor was rapidly losing his patience. "For God's sakes, McKay! He was in a lot of pain, and it's not exactly comfortable waking up on a respirator, either. Which is also the reason why ya couldn't have _talked_ ta him, anyway. Just give him a break for once, will ya?"

Rodney looked like a scolded child. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…is he out of the woods yet?"

"No, he's not. He wasn't even supposed ta wake up, yet and I'm still not liking his vitals." He stated while writing something on the chart.

"We just want ta spare him as much pain as we can. If he makes it, he's gonna be in enough pain during the recovery, we don't need ta start that now."

"No, we shouldn't." Rodney caved in. All he had wanted was to see his friend's eyes possibly one last time. He knew he'd regret it if the Colonel didn't make it.

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**I promise there'll be more conscious Shep in the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed this one...**

**As always: Please hit the little button on the left that says 'Review'! **


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N:_ Don't have to say much, just thanks a lot for all the nice reviews, they really keep my fingers typing!**

**It might be a week until the next chapter, because I'm going to Croatia the day after tomorrow and I'm not sure if I can finish the next chapter before. But I'm getting back on saturday... **

**Thanks to my beta Kathleen! Couldn't have done it without you! **

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_Three days later_

Elizabeth lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. It was three o'clock in the morning, and she was wide awake, just like she had been every night since she'd regained consciousness.

Carson had reluctantly agreed to release her from the infirmary the morning before, making her promise that she'd take the sleeping pills he had prescribed. The doctor wasn't stupid – he knew how much trouble she was having sleeping, no matter how hard she tried to hide it from him. The problem was that the pills didn't help much. In spite of her exhaustion, she just couldn't get her mind to settle down enough to sleep.

Not as long as John was still lying in the infirmary, teetering on the brink of death.

They had actually hoped he was improving after he'd briefly woken up after the surgery, but his vitals remained the same, and he hadn't regained consciousness again since.

Everybody that had come to visit her since the incident with the imprinting kept telling her that it wasn't her fault, and honestly, she knew that it wasn't. However, it didn't stop her mind from screaming at her every moment that she should have fought harder.

This was one of those nights. She replayed the moment over and over again in her mind, seeing John lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood until she couldn't take it any longer and got up, trying to force the images out of her head.

Elizabeth suddenly felt the urge to do something. The silence in her room was driving her crazy. She knew that only one thing would succeed in making her feel better, but that was exactly the thing she had no power over whatsoever. It was times like these that she envied John or Teyla, because they always seemed to be able to clear their heads by doing exercise. She, on the other hand, had never been a physical person.

Elizabeth had apologised to everybody she had hurt a hundred times over and had even thanked Teyla that her shot wasn't fatal. Elizabeth knew the young Athosian was battling her own inner demons about this.

The only possibility of them all getting back to normal was for John to get better.

Since sleep was out of the question, Elizabeth decided to take a quick shower, get dressed, and head for the infirmary.

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When Elizabeth quietly entered the isolation room occupied by John, she saw Rodney sitting on the only chair in what looked to be an extremely uncomfortable position. His head was slumped over his laptop, and his whole body was leaning dangerously to the right.

If she hadn't come in when she did, he probably would have ended up on the floor.

"Rodney..." she whispered, not wanting to startle him.

"Just ten more minutes, mom," he slurred, his eyes still tightly shut.

"It's me, Elizabeth. You need to wake up now, or you'll be very sore tomorrow." She couldn't help smiling at Rodney calling her 'mom'.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm awake..." he mumbled, slowly becoming more alert and promptly dropping his laptop in the process. "Shoot!" he immediately picked it up and stroked it carefully, as if it was alive and he was feeling for broken bones.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney rubbed his eyes in disbelief and looked at his watch. "You only left two hours ago. Is something wrong?"

Elizabeth shook her head. They had decided to take shifts at the Colonel's bed the day before, making sure that somebody was always there in case he woke up or…well, she decided to leave it at 'in case he woke up'

"Nothing's wrong… I just couldn't sleep, and you look like you could use some, so why don't we make the best of it and switch. You can get some rest, and I won't be bored," she said cheerfully, but Rodney wasn't easily fooled.

"Elizabeth, you look like you haven't slept in days! Why don't you ask Carson to give you something so you can get some rest? You're no use to Sheppard like this. He's gonna need you alert once he wakes up." Elizabeth was surprised by the honest and sincere concern in Rodney's voice. It was something she hadn't seen Rodney expressing with anybody except John. She wasn't sure whether she should feel embarrassed or honoured.

"Do I really look that bad?"

Rodney nodded. "Can't fool a genius!"

She sighed and stepped closer to John's bed, taking his limp hand into hers. She squeezed it slightly. It was something she always did first; it had almost become a ritual to her. But waiting for a response was in vain. John's hand remained limp.

"You can really go now, Rodney."

McKay hesitated for a second. "You sure you don't want Carson to give you something?"

Elizabeth shook her head again.

"Well, I'm staying, too. I'll just go and tell Carson you're here," he said, expecting Elizabeth to argue, because she knew the doctor would never agree to this, especially not with her sleep-deprived condition.

McKay was already halfway out the door to inform Beckett when she suddenly yelled, "Rodney! Get Carson!"

"I was just on my way to…why?" He just realized something must have happened.

"I think he's waking up!" she said, unable to hide her excitement. She was positive that John had squeezed her hand, and he was now also beginning to toss weakly under the sheets. Elizabeth heard Rodney burst out the door behind her, and she bent down to talk to John in a soothing voice.

"Don't struggle, John. You're in the infirmary. Carson is on his way." She tried her best to calm him down, gently squeezing his hand and stroking his forehead. But as John became more alert, the struggles also increased. She didn't know whether it was from pain or panic.

"Sssshhh, you have to calm down, John," she pleaded, but he seemed oblivious to her voice, now reaching for the ventilator tube.

Elizabeth had the hardest time keeping Sheppard from pulling the tube out or hurting himself, and although it couldn't have been more than a few minutes, it felt like hours before Rodney returned with Carson hot on his heels.

Rodney immediately took over holding John's arms down, and Carson checked the tube for possible damage. When he found nothing wrong with it, he bent down close to his patient's open, unfocused eyes.

"Now listen ta me, lad! I need ya to focus on me! You hear me? Try ta focus yer eyes on me." He knew that talking to him wouldn't do much good, and he'd hate to have to sedate him again. If he got through to him, focusing his attention was their best shot of getting him to stop struggling.

It took several minutes until Sheppard had finally calmed down enough for Rodney to safely release his hands and Carson to begin his examination.

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John Sheppard felt something tug at his hand and wondered why somebody was already in his quarters. He was usually the first one up in the morning, getting ready for his run when the rest of Atlantis was still fast asleep. Why was somebody in his room anyway?

And what was with the pain? Had he trained too hard yesterday, ran too long? He hadn't been this sore since hell week in high school track.

No, something was definitely wrong. The pain was worse than just soreness after exercise, and there was a sharp pain somewhere deep in his stomach.

Did somebody attack him?

John had never felt so confused. He could neither open his eyes nor breathe properly, and he had the feeling that somebody was talking to him, but he couldn't hear what they said.

It was like being trapped, suffocating in your own body. He longed to take a deep breath, and he reached for his mouth, trying to find out what was wrong with it. When something stopped him from moving, he began to panic.

With his luck, he was probably captured by the Wraith, and they were conducting experiments on him.

His head felt like it was going to explode, and though his eyes were open now, the whole room was spinning wildly, making it impossible for him to figure out where he was. There were all kinds of loud noises and different voices, but with time, he managed to concentrate on the only familiar one.

"…..focus…..hear me?..."

He tried, but it took a while until the other noises in the back of his head quieted down and the world started spinning more slowly. John realized that it was Beckett hovering over him, telling him to focus on his voice. That meant he was in the infirmary, which brought him to the conclusion that he must be on the ventilator again. At least it'd explain the choking feeling he couldn't seem to escape, and it sure beat the Wraith-experiment version.

He was so incredibly tired and already drifting back to sleep when Carson shook his shoulder.

"Sorry, son. I need ta examine ya before ya can go back ta sleep," he explained sympathetically.

This day could only get worse! It started with a very bright penlight shining in his eyes, making his headache return with a vengeance. He should really have been prepared for this, but his mind still wasn't working right.

The pain in his stomach flared up again when he felt Beckett poking and prodding him. He would have groaned if it wasn't for the stupid ventilator.

What happened afterwards was blurred into a haze for John. The only thing he remembered before drifting off was the sweet word "morphine", followed by the familiar warmth flowing through his veins that took him back to blissful darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay. I had a good time in Croatia and when I got back on the weekend, there was so much to do.. RL sucks again.**

**Thank you Kathleen for your help, that was mega fast this time hugs**

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"Carson?" Elizabeth asked once she was certain that John was asleep again. The doctor was busy checking the dressing of the wound.

"This is gonna need changin'," he muttered, mostly to himself, before turning around to face Elizabeth and Rodney. "I think he's gonna be fine," he assured them with a huge smile.

Elizabeth froze in shock, but it didn't take Rodney long to digest the news.

"Really? How would you know that?" he asked doubtfully. Rodney was used to Beckett voicing the worst possible outcome, not taking the chance of getting anybody's hopes up. Now, however, the doctor sounded convincingly optimistic.

"Because, Rodney, his blood pressure has finally come back up to normal, and the wound is starting ta heal. Without complications, he'll be good as new in a few weeks."

"That's wonderful news, Carson!" Elizabeth hugged the doctor joyfully. This was the best news she'd had in days.

"Aye, it is…. But now I want ya two ta get to your quarters and get some rest. He's gonna be fine, but he won't wake up before tomorrow. Until then, ya can get a good night's sleep and be alert when he needs ya." Carson knew that Elizabeth, and maybe himself, were the ones in desperate need of some sleep, but he shot Rodney a warning glance for good measure, to which the scientist gave a reassuring nod. He knew that it was easier to convince Elizabeth to take care of herself when they ganged up on her.

Carson was surprised that she left without an argument. It was clear to anyone who knew her that she looked dead tired, and he came to the conclusion that she probably didn't get much – if any – sleep in the last few days. That made it all the more important that Sheppard was finally coming out of the woods.

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_The next morning_

Teyla entered the isolation room of the ICU early, just as she did every morning. It was still quiet in the infirmary and the lights were dimmed. She was surprised and relieved that the chair next to John's bed was unoccupied, but when she was about to sit down, Dr. Beckett came in, still looking sleepy.

"Oh, good morning, love. Yer quite early." He rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch.

Teyla wondered whether the doctor had slept in the infirmary again and had just woken up.

"I was going to relieve Dr. McKay so he can get some rest, but he does not seem to be here."

"Yes, yes. I sent him and Dr. Weir ta their quarters late last night," Carson explained plainly.

"But we decided to take turns at the Colonel's bed, so he would not be alone in case he regained consciousness." Teyla's voice grew harsher. It had been very important to her that somebody was always there with the Colonel; it made her sleep a little better.

"Well, I regret ta inform ya, but yer too late," the doctor said with a smile, but only succeeded in confusing the Athosian even more. She looked at her watch and back at Beckett who was still grinning.

"But I am not…"

Carson was starting to feel sorry for Teyla and interrupted, "It's okay, love. He woke up last night when Rodney and Elizabeth were here. His vitals look much better, and I'm convinced he's going ta make it. In fact, the sedative I gave him should be wearing off pretty soon."

A sense of relief washed over Teyla. That was not what she had expected. Nevertheless, her tension stubbornly remained. John looked no different than he had two days ago…too pale and too weak.

"Are you sure?" Teyla never took her eyes off of the still figure in front of her.

"Ya can never be a hundred percent sure, but his vitals really look promising." That said, Carson checked the readings again, only to find the Colonel's pulse was slightly elevated.

"I think he's wakin' up, lass," he said, gently pushing Teyla to the side.

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Regaining consciousness was smoother for John this time. The pain was only a dull throb in his stomach, and he remembered waking up much more uncomfortably in the past. Beckett probably had him on the good stuff, and he was certainly thankful for that. The first thing he noticed was the quiet woosh of the ventilator that was still in place.

When he heard Carson calling out to him, he briefly wondered whether the doctor had ever left his side since he last woke up. It felt like only ten minutes had passed, but he guessed it had probably been a few hours. The good stuff also tended to make you sleep long and dreamlessly.

John had almost drifted back to sleep when the doctor's urges for him to open his eyes grew louder and more frequent. Knowing that Beckett wouldn't leave him alone, he slowly pried his eyes open, happy that the lights were dimmed down to a tolerable level. It hurt his eyes far less than before.

But his gratification only lasted for so long since Carson didn't lose much time to bug him with his penlight again. He'd never understand how one's eyes could be so important in evaluating someone's condition.

"Are you in any pain, son?" Carson asked, bringing his face closer to Sheppard's. His worried expression was still swimming in and out of focus, and John needed a moment to focus. Once he had managed to stop the room from swimming, he weakly shook his head as far as the ventilator allowed him to move.

Carson immediately noticed his discomfort. "Yer oxygen level seems alright, ya want me ta take that out?" he asked rhetorically.

Sheppard nodded. This had been easy. Once he got rid of that thing, he knew he'd feel much better. Maybe a little less helpless…

"Okay lad, ya know the drill. On three, just give me the biggest cough ya can manage," the doctor explained, peeling off the tape around the tube.

"One…two…three!" he counted, pulling out the tube as fast as he could.

The following coughing fit left John wondering why Carson never did him the favor of taking the tube out while he was unconscious. It'd sure spare him a lot of pain. He made a mental note to ask the doctor about that once his throat wasn't feeling like a cut of raw meat anymore.

When the coughing fit finally subsided, John fell back against his bed breathlessly. All his strength had vanished, and the dull throb in his side was once again replaced by a stabbing pain. He desperately clutched at his midsection, but despite the ringing in his ears, he heard Beckett say, "Hold on, son. I'm givin' ya somethin' for the pain."

Whatever it was that Beckett administered had worked quickly. It didn't take the pain away, but it took most of the edge off, and he was soon able to fall back against the pillow with a sigh.

The next thing he felt was Beckett slipping an ice chip between his lips, and he was extremely grateful for that. He let the cold liquid dribble down his raw throat, soothing it like nothing else could have.

"So, how are ya feelin', son?"

Sheppard groaned. He wasn't sure whether he could completely trust his voice yet. "…been… better," he managed, his voice sounding scratchy and weak to his ears.

"Aye, I can imagine. It's been close there for a while, but yer gonna be fine."

"Honestly doc, I don't feel fine," Sheppard admitted once his voice had regained some of its usual strength. He started fumbling with the dressings on his side, only to have his hands pushed away.

"Leave that be, Colonel."

"It hurts!" John snapped, earning himself a concerned glance from the doctor. Carson wasn't sure if he should be worried. Sheppard was usually not a person to admit weakness, much less complain about pain, no matter how bad it might be. On the other hand, this could just be his exhaustion talking, and the Colonel would be back to his annoying, boyish self in no time.

John noticed the obvious concern in the way Carson was watching him. He realized that he'd let his control slip and with a deep breath, focused on shutting out the pain and regaining his composure. The last thing he needed right now was Kate Heightmeyer messing with his head. He hated talking to that woman even more than physical pain.

"Sorry doc. I guess I'm just a little wound up," he explained, noticing that he was slurring his words terribly. His head was also starting to feel woozy and fuzzy again.

'_Damn pain meds, always make you tired.'_

The next thing he noticed was Carson slipping an oxygen mask over his face. He must have faded out for a minute because he hadn't seen the doctor leave to get one. Before he could even begin to complain, Carson intervened. "No argument! You've been on the ventilator for four days, and ya need the oxygen."

John knew better than to argue; he wouldn't win.

"Now, I'm going ta get ya a new IV bag, this one's almost empty."

"Oh, lucky me," John replied sarcastically.

When Carson left his side, John saw Teyla hovering uncertainly only a few feet away from his bed. Had she been there the whole time? She certainly knew how to be quiet and stay in the background, a marked contrast to McKay.

"Hey, Teyla." He smiled, but could already feel his strength failing again.

"I am glad you are better, Colonel," she said, not even trying to come any closer. Even from across the room, John could see that her eyes looked tired and haunted. He frowned. Something was obviously wrong with her, and it didn't take him long to figure out that it probably had to do with what had happened with Phebus and Thalen.

'_Come on, get yourself together, John!'_ She looked like she desperately needed him to tell her that it wasn't her fault, but he wasn't sure he had the energy for a conversation with this weight right now.

"Come here, Teyla," he said, but his voice was barely audible under the oxygen mask. It was no more than a whisper, and his eyelids kept drooping in exhaustion.

Teyla's face softened. The colonel was barely holding on, but he seemed to want to say something to her, so she shook herself out of her hesitation and went over to his bed, carefully taking his limp hand into hers.

"Sleep now, Colonel. You need to rest," she said softly but realized that Sheppard was still struggling hard to stay awake.

"…not…your fault," he whispered before his eyes closed in sleep. It had been so quiet, Teyla had almost missed it. Tears were starting to form in her eyes, painfully blurring her vision. It was a typical situation. He was the one hurt, he was the one that had just escaped death by mere inches again, and _he_ was also the one who worried about _her_ feelings.

Now she felt selfish for being so obvious, for needing that attention so desperately.

She sat there stroking John's warm forehead until Carson arrived with the new IV bag. "Here's breakfast, Colonel!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"He has fallen asleep, Dr. Beckett. He feels warm, too," Teyla explained quietly without looking up.

"Good, that's what he needs most – rest. And don't worry about his temperature. That's just his body fighting to get healthy." Carson removed the empty IV bag and attached the new one to his patient's line. He noticed that the young Athosian looked lost. "Ya know he's gonna need ya during his recovery, it's gonna be very hard on him," he told her gently, laying a hand on her shoulder. Carson could tell that she needed to be needed, that she needed to help him somehow, help him through his recovery.

"I am going to be there for him," she replied, not even looking up to meet his concerned gaze.

He wanted to talk to her, reassure her that Sheppard would make it, but his attention was quickly drawn away from Teyla when Rodney entered the room, calling cheerfully.

"Caaaaarsooooon?"

"Good god, Rodney. Can't ya be a wee bit louder, ya haven't woken up the whole city, yet!" Beckett snapped in an irritated manner, hauling Rodney out into the hallway.

"Just let the man get some rest, will ya?"

"I was just going to…I didn't want to…I haven't even…Screw that, how's Sheppard?"

"Yer impossible, Rodney!" Carson said, ignoring the question and turning around to head for his office.

"Hey!" the scientist shouted indignantly.

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**No evil cliffie this time, huh? I think that was the most uncliffielike chapter I have ever done...**

**You won't have to wait that long for the next chapter. It deals with the painful recovery. I am also ready to whump poor Shep some more...**

** Review, review... **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews, they are keeping my fingers typing...**

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It took two more days until John finally managed to stay awake longer than a few minutes at a time. It wasn't the first time he had been shot, but it never ceased to amaze him how something so small could mess up his body for weeks – not to mention how easily it could have killed him. He didn't even want to think about what that would have done to Teyla and Elizabeth.

"What are you dreaming about?" Ronon asked. The Satedan occupied the bed next to his since John had been moved from the ICU the day before. Neither man minded the company and each welcomed the distraction the other could provide.

"Huh? Nothing important…" Sheppard replied. He wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or disappointed that Ronon wasn't the most talkative of people. McKay was annoying as hell, but he certainly knew how to keep one's attention.

"Whatever…I'm hungry." he growled.

"Ronon, you're always hungry," Sheppard teased with a smile. He had known how much the man could eat since he watched him put away his lunch with his fingers on his first day in Atlantis, but now that he had witnessed firsthand what his friend could stow away in an entire day, he was even more amazed.

"Good morning gentlemen!" the familiar Scottish brogue greeted, followed by an extra cheery looking Beckett carrying only one breakfast tray. John wondered what this was all about.

"Ya hungry yet, lad?" The question was directed at Ronon, who nodded vehemently.

"Well, that's a shame because it looks like there's no breakfast for ya here."

"What do you mean?" Ronon asked unbelievingly, making John wonder whether hunger actually slowed the man's brain capacity.

"Yer just gonna have ta go to the mess hall to fetch breakfast yerself, we're no hotel, ya know."

"What? But…why?"

Carson had the hardest time in keeping himself from bursting out laughing when he saw the look of utter confusion on the Satedan's face. He was going to tease him some more, but Sheppard didn't think this was even remotely funny and abruptly put an end to it.

"For God's sakes, Ronon. He's releasing you," he hissed.

"He is?" Ronon looked from the Colonel to Beckett for confirmation. The doctorwas still grinning widely.

"Aye. I'm sorry, lad. But if ya could have seen yer face, it was hilarious."

"Hah, funny. So I'm free to go?" It was only a rhetorical question, and Ronon was already busy taking off his scrub top and putting on the shirt that he had kept hidden under the bed.

Once Ronon was on his feet, he headed straight for the door. But before the Satedan could disappear into the hallway, Carson's expression grew serious again.

"Not so fast, young man," he called after him, making him stop dead in his tracks,"I just want ta make myself clear. Yer still on sick leave, so no running, no stick-fighting, and no going to the mainland. I want ya ta go to the mess hall ta get something ta eat, and head straight for yer quarters afterwards. Oh, and I expect ya here for a check up tonight."

"Got it. Can I go now?" Ronon had only been half-listening. Beckett's instructions were always the same and he wasn't the type to follow doctor's orders. He knew best what his body _could_or _couldn't_ take.

"Right, leave me all alone in the lion's den," John said, just loud enough for Ronon to hear.

"Sorry Sheppard. Gotta go now!" he exclaimed and was out the door before John could say another word.

"Great!" His mood was already turning sour. There had been a brief flash of hope when Carson first came in with his cheerful expression that he was also going to be released. But the tray in the doctor's hands, and the lingering IV were his first two guesses that there was no way he was free to go as of yet.

"Don't worry, Colonel. I brought ya breakfast." Carson put the loaded tray in front of him. There were all kinds of things – toast, bread, rolls, butter, marmalade, peanut butter, bacon, and somebody had even gone through the trouble to make him some scrambled eggs. There was also a large glass of orange juice to go with it all. Still, the fact that the only thing John really looked forward to about breakfast – the coffee – was missing, didn't exactly lighten up his mood.

"I'm not hungry," John sighed, pushing the tray away.

"Oh, come on. Don't act like a little school girl, will ya?" Carson was quickly losing patience, but Sheppard ignored his remark.

"When do I get out?"

"This is gonna take some time. Yer body has to regain some of its strength first. If I let ya out now, ya wouldn't make it to the door."

John didn't even argue with that. He felt incredibly weak, and his wound was also giving him some trouble. "But why is Chewie on his feet already? He's been shot in the stomach on the same day and is running aroundas ifnothing happened!"

Carson sighed. He had expected this kind of reaction. "First of all, he didn't suffer massive blood loss like you did, his bullet didn't hit any organs, and he wasn't in a coma for almost four days. And besides, he eats more," he said with a pointed look toward the rejected breakfast.

"Here we go again."

"Aye, _again! _If you'd just listen ta me for a change, I wouldn't have ta remind ya over and over again. It's as easy as this – the more ya eat, the sooner ya'll be back on yer feet."

"I'm not doing this to piss you off, doc. I'm just not hungry." John replied, his voice much calmer. He knew he wasn't an easy patient, and the doctor was only looking out for him.

"How can ya be not hungry? The last time ya ate was 10 hours ago."

"I don't eat breakfast, I never do," he admitted, regretting it immediately. Beckett was paying enough attention to his eating habits as it was, always eyeing him suspiciously whenever he went to the mess hall to get lunch. He didn't need the doctor fussing over him any more.

"Well, those are not healthy eating habits. Yer gonna have ta change them. It's gonna take some getting used to, but once ya do, ya won't wanna do without. Now, eat up."

John considered standing his ground, but he knew from experience that Carson would stick to his guns. He decided this wasn't worth fighting the doctor over, pulled the tray closer, and choked down some toast with bacon and a whole spoonful of scrambled eggs.

Carson was going to object to the little amount Sheppard had eaten but decided to let it go for the moment.

"So, ya think yer up ta getting out of that bed and walking around for a bit today?" he asked encouragingly.

"Whatever it takes to help me leave sooner," John replied, though he wasn't sure whether he would be able to stay on his feet for very long. The food he had just eaten left him somewhat nauseous.

"Come on, am I really that bad?" Carson asked teasingly, butdidn't get an answer. "Alright, ignore me, but I'm going ta have ta look at that wound before I let ya do anything strenuous."

"Do what you have to do." John didn't care as long as it brought him closer to being released.

Carson gently removed the bandage and inspected the wound closely, before pressing around the intrusion site. The sudden pressure on his already tender stomach made John hiss in pain.

"Hey, I've been shot. We already know that, why do you have to press so hard?" he asked with clenched teeth. He could barely keep the nausea at bay.

"Because I have ta make sure there's no more internal bleedin'."

Sheppard noticed that the doctor didn't seem to look pleased at all. While he concentrated on not puking all over the place, Carson pressed the back of his hand against John's forehead. "Damn it!"

"What?" The answer to that question was reflected in the doctor's serious expression, and John wasn't sure if he wanted to hear an explanation.

"The skin around the wound looks slightly inflamed, and ya seem ta have a bit of a fever."

Sheppard had been in the infirmary often enough to know exactly what that meant. "An infection? After all this time?" he asked unbelievingly.

"I know, it's uncommon…but possible." Carson paused. It wouldn't have surprised him if his patient had developed an infection shortly after the surgery as there had been a lot of dirt and dust in the wound. But almost a whole week later? They must have missed something. "Maybe yer skin is just irritated."

"Carson?" John tried to get the doctor's attention. His nausea was reaching an unbearable level, makingCarson's head swim in and out of focus.

"…and even if it is an infection…"

"Carson?"

"…we caught it quite early…"

"CARSON!" John screamed now, already feeling the bile rising up in his throat. "I'm gonna be sick," he exclaimed, gripping the bedrails with both hands until his knuckles turned white.

Dr. Beckett acted instantly and got a basin under the Colonel's chin just as he was starting to heave up his breakfast. The retching only lasted for a few minutes, as there wasn't much in John's stomach to bring up. The circular motion of Carson's hand on his back was soothing and helped the Colonel to keep the world from spinning too hard.

"That's why I don't eat breakfast," John said once he had caught his breath.

"Let me just go and get something ta help with the nausea." The doctor repluied andSheppard nodded thankfully.

Carson knew that the nausea probably had nothing to do with breakfast, but he had a feeling that his patient wouldn't appreciate an argument of that sort in his current situation.

It only took Carson about two minutes to fetch everything he needed, and he wasn't surprised to see the Colonel was half-asleep when he returned.

John was already too out of it to notice that Carson was there until he felt a prick on his hand.

"Hey, you didn't say anything about another IV! I hate those things!" he protested weakly.

"Aye, I know, son. I need ta give ya some antibiotics to fight off the infection. Just try ta relax now."

Carson had also slipped a mild sedative into the IV. It didn't require a high dose to put the Colonel to sleep, but Carson needed to clean the wound again, and he preferred for John to be unconscious during the procedure. He called one of his nurses for assistance and looked sympathetically at the sleeping Colonel. Had there ever been any injury or illness without further complications for Sheppard? Not since he had known the man.

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Teyla was sitting quietly in the chair next to John's bed when he woke up a few hours later. He was confused and disoriented at first, but Teyla took his hand into hers and brought him around with a calm voice. "Sssh, John. You are in the infirmary."

"Teyla?" he asked uncertainly once the fog in his mind had cleared out a little.

"Yes, John. I am here."

"Wow, that was weird." He'd had all kinds of confusing dreams.

"Do you want me to go and get Dr. Beckett?" Teyla asked, concerned by the Colonel's behaviour.

"No, I'm fine…just a little cold," he admitted.

Teyla wanted to slap herself for not noticing that John was shivering earlier. She helped him pull the blanket up to his chin and felt his forehead. His fever had gone up.

"Can I get some water?" John's throat was starting to hurt from being so dry.

"Of course." Teyla got up and filled a glass with water. She ended up holding the glass for him because his hands were shaking too much to keep it steady.

"Thanks." John seemed relieved after he had gulped down a few sips of water. His throat felt a whole lot better.

After Teyla had helped him settle back against the bed and adjusted his blankets, John noticed that sheseemed to beavoiding his eyes.

"Come on, Teyla. I hope you're not still feeling guilty about this?" he asked, using more effort than he would have liked. His voice, however, wasn't obeying, and a massive headache started to flare up.

"I am sorry you are so sick," she said honestly, side-stepping his question.

"It's not your fault!"

"It is, in a way. I just wish I could help you." Teyla seemed lost, almost helpless. She was taking this whole incident even harder than he thought.

"You can. Just stop feeling guilty, that'd help a lot."John meant what he said. His life would be a whole lot easier if he wasn'tso worried about her.

Teyla sighed. She still wasn't sure if she could ever forgive herself, but if it helped John, she would be happy to try, or at least pretend.

"You gave the word 'friendly fire' a whole new meaning, you know?" he muttered, his voice sounding alarmingly weak now.

Teyla looked up in concern at the sound of his voice and jumped up from her chair. "Colonel! Are you alright?" she asked frantically just as John's head slumped lifelessly to the side. When shaking him and calling out to him didn't bring him back to consciousness, Teyla ran toward the door.

"Dr. Beckett!" she yelled into the hallway, seized with new panic.

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**A/N: Another cliffie, I couldn't resist! evil grin**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, you've made it to the last chapter! Aren't you proud? I am. Thank you for all the kind reviews, they really make my day. I have another story planned, hopefully I can start writing it soon with all that studying I have to do. RL sucks, what a surprise!**

**I hope you liked the story!**

**Kathleen (my beta), you're my hero g**

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Carson dropped everything he was doing when he heard Teyla's frantic calls. His mind was racing, trying to come up with the various possible complications a patient was likely to suffer in Sheppard's condition and how they could be treated.

By the time he reached the Colonel's bed, Teyla had stopped screaming for him. She was bent over the Colonel's lifeless form, shaking his limp shoulders and urging him to wake up, receiving no response.

"I'm here, Teyla," Carson said, gently pushing her aside when she didn't move. As soon as he'd gotten a better look at John, he was genuinely surprised at the condition in which he found his patient. He was used to all sorts of horrible medical scenarios, especially with Colonel Sheppard, but this was entirely different.

His patient seemed to be resting peacefully, though the covers were drenched in sweat. He wasn't struggling for air or thrashing around in pain – something Carson had fully expected to see.

"I cannot get him to wake…" Teyla explained with a small, shivering voice.

Carson continued to check the readings on the monitors and took the Colonel's pulse and temperature. He took a minute to scribble something down on his chart after he had listened to John's chest and sides with his stethoscope.

"Well, other than a slightly elevated temperature, there doesn't seem ta be anything wrong with him, lass." Teyla stared at him with disbelieving eyes. Carson knew that for her to be reacting this way, something must really be eating at her, and he didn't need a degree in psychology to guess what it was.

"Listen, love, he's gonna be fine!" he reassured.

"Then why will he not wake?"

"It's his body's own way of making sure it gets plenty of rest ta heal itself. Up ta now, this is just a minor setback, and his temperature seems ta be holdin' steady. If that doesn't change, he'll be back on his feet before ya know it."

"Are you sure?" Teyla asked, still not looking convinced.

Carson sighed. He was starting to think that the Athosian needed to have a talk with Kate. Not only did she have a panic attack when the Colonel had merely fallen asleep, now she was doubting his diagnosis. Where did all of this mistrust suddenly come from?

"I'm sure. Now, I want ya ta go and let the Colonel rest." She allowed him to guide her out of the main infirmary entrance.

"I would like to apologize for my reaction, Dr. Beckett. It was unaccounted for." The despair in her voice made Carson's heart melt. The young woman had a long way to go before she could even think about forgiving herself.

"No need ta apologize, love. Ya didn't know what was wrong with him, it could have been much worse."

"This is bad enough," Teyla added with a tone of defeat in her voice. Carson wanted to reassure her again that it wasn't her fault, to tell her that she had to stop beating herself up over this, but he knew he wasn't in a position to make her feel any better.

"I'll call ya when his condition changes."

Teyla nodded and silently walked away toward the gym.

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_Two days later in the infirmary_

"Hey, Elizabeth!" John greeted when she pulled back the curtain and sat down on the only chair, looking somewhat surprised.

"Carson told me you were asleep."

"Did he say that before or after he yelled at Rodney to get out of his way?" he asked, earning a smirk from his visitor. Elizabeth noted that he still looked somewhat pale, and his voice sounded weaker as usual. However, Carson had assured her that the infection had cleared, and he was finally on the mend. It was about time after a whole week of fighting for his life.

A wheezing sound shook her out of her thoughts, and she saw that John was having difficulty sitting up.

"Hey, hey, that's what adjustable beds are for," she argued and propped up the head of the bed before John had the chance to struggle anymore. He lent back and nodded thankfully.

"Right, we wouldn't want the Ancients to have spent all that ancient money for nothing, would we?"

Elizabeth smiled. It was a good sign that John was starting to get his humour back.

"So, how's your physical therapy coming?"

"Doc said I could walk around for a bit today. He's taking bets on whether I make it to the next bed without falling on my face."

Elizabeth couldn't hide her smirk, partly because she could actually picture Carson saying that and partly because she was relieved John was finally feeling better. It reminded her of what she came here to say. "Um, listen. Now that you're fully lucid, I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am. I was screaming at her not to do it, but…" Her voice staggered.

"I know, Elizabeth. The same thing happened to me, remember? And I might not have been at my best, but I do remember hearing at least five of the ten apologies from you before." He paused. "Look, let's just forget all of this, okay? It wasn't exactly our finest moment."

Elizabeth hesitated, but when she saw the pleading look in the Colonel's eyes, she knew what she had to do. He was right. Nobody understood better what she had gone through than John, and she could see in his eyes that he had forgiven her. If he wanted them to forget this, she would do that. The poor Colonel was probably sick of going over this again and again.

"Okay, let's forget it." She caved in.

"Great!" Elizabeth knew they would be okay, because John shot her a sincere smile and it was enough to convince her that she needed to leave this behind her.

"Alright, now I need you to do me a favour." His mischievous expression gave her the impression that he was up to something.

"Yes?" she asked cautiously.

"Remember, you still kinda owe me." He pointed at the wound on his stomach, pouting slightly as he did so.

"Wait, I thought we were going to forget this?"

"We will. Just reminding you, is all. Listen, Teyla hasn't been to visit me in the last couple of days, and I think there might be something wrong with her."

Elizabeth interrupted him as soon as she figured out what he was going to ask. "Forget it, John. I'm not taking you down there!"

"I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important. I'd go alone, but I seriously doubt I'd make it that far. Of course, I could try it by myself, but you're gonna have to mount a search team to find me after I painfully collapse out of pure exhaustion." John Sheppard knew exactly what buttons he had to push. He hated playing with her guilty conscience, but it seemed to be the only way.

"Well, why didn't you ask Carson to get you a wheelchair and wheel you down?" she asked innocently.

"Oh please, I could also strap _myself_ down on this bed…"

"He's gonna kill me for this!" she said quietly but loud enough for John to hear.

"Is that a yes? Elizabeth, you're the best!" John had already pushed his blanket aside, revealing his grey sweat pants. He was trying to get up, but his legs kind of felt like jello.

"Not so fast, young man." Elizabeth pushed him back onto the bed and disappeared, only to return with a wheelchair a few moments later.

"You want me to get into that thing?" he asked with shock disbelief. He was painfully aware of the fact that Carson was right – he probably wouldn't make it to the next bed, not to mention all the way to the gym, where Teyla probably was.

"Either _that thing_ or your bed, Colonel. You choose." John almost had to smile at her dead serious expression.

"Wow, you can be scary!" he added but let Elizabeth help him into the wheelchair. It wasn't an easy task, his legs weren't doing what he wanted them to do, and Elizabeth practically had to lift him into the wheelchair. By the time he was settled, his face was contorted with pain, and he was panting hard.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you can do this? I'd much rather call Carson…"

"No!" he exclaimed, trying to catch his breath, "I'll be fine…"

"But…"

"Elizabeth, I really need to do this now!" he was relieved that his voice had regained its strength in that exact moment.

"Who's scary now?" He glanced at her, trying to show her that this was very important to him.

"Alright, alright. Stop the puppy look, would you?" she asked while wheeling him out of the infirmary. Before they sneaked out, she was able to catch a glance of Carson sitting in his office, absorbed in his studies.

The doctor would certainly be pissed when he found out about this "jail break"!

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"Will you be okay?" Elizabeth asked once they had reached the gym. The unmistakeable sounds coming from inside proved that Teyla was practicing as Sheppard had expected.

"Yeah, thanks Elizabeth!" John moved his hand over the consol, and the door swooshed open. Teyla was so caught up in her training, she hadn't noticed him entering.

"I'll just go and leave you two to it," Elizabeth said and quietly retreated.

"Pretty good!" John said after watching one of Teyla's moves. She instantly turned around and stared at John.

"Colonel!" she stuttered, throwing her sticks on the mat. She stayed a few feet away from him.

"Yeah, me. The guy that's been locked up in the infirmary. Remember me?" he asked with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Should you be out of bed?" Teyla asked uncertainly. She couldn't help but notice his pale face. He looked worn out and bone-tired.

"You know, I was kinda counting on you keeping me company in Carson's cage of terror, but you haven't been down there to see me once in two days."

"I have been busy," she said evasively, averting her eyes at once.

"Oh, come on Teyla. Let's just cut the crap and get to the point! Why do you feel so guilty? I told you again and again that you didn't have any choice, and you still can't look me in the eyes. What else does it take to convince you that this wasn't your fault?"

"That is not the point, Colonel. I know that you do not blame me, but I cannot forgive myself. I almost killed you, and that is going to be on my conscience for the rest of my days."

"You know what your conscience would do to you if you hadn't shot? If you had let all those people die just because of me? You need to learn to let things go, or you'll never be happy in your life. Everything seems to be going downhill with the Wraith, and we can trust no one but each other. If you don't trust yourself, I can't count on you out there! You're probably gonna have to do things that are much worse than this, and you need to learn to live with it!"

Teyla stared at him in silence before turning away. He had never been good at reading her expressions, and he had no clue what she thought right now.

"It sounds so easy when you say it and yet I have found myself unable to look in the mirror. How do you stop that, Colonel? How do you make that feeling go away?" The defeated, tired tone in her voice surprised him. It was very rare for Teyla to show such consuming emotion as this.

John awkwardly got up and unsteadily walked to Teyla's position. He put a hand on her shoulder.

The Athosian quickly turned around when she felt the light touch on her shoulder and put both hands on John's arms to support him. He looked about ready to fall.

"John, you should not be up!" She guided him back to the chair, but his strength was quickly failing. When they reached the wheelchair, Teyla was dragging him more than supporting him. She gently sat him back down and kneeled down to be at his eye level.

"I am going to bring you back to the infirmary."

"No, I want to finish this first," he argued, his voice coming out weaker than he intended.

"Thing is, the feeling never goes away, but you have to learn to live with it. Think about all the lives you saved that day! And I'm not even dead!" he said, earning a light smile from Teyla.

"There were a lot of lives at stake. And it is quite obvious that you are not dead!" Teyla looked like she had just now realized that things weren't so bad after all. She smiled at John.

"Feel better?" he asked, but Teyla noticed that he was starting to slur his words and sag in the wheelchair.

"I do feel better, and now it is time for you to get back to bed!" she said and wheeled him out of the gym toward the infirmary.

"Any chance you'd take me to my quarters?" he asked tiredly.

"That is not an option. I am sure Dr. Beckett will be anxiously awaiting your return."

She heard him sigh before his head fell sideways, forcing her to shift his position. He had fallen asleep.

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They were still a few corridors away when Teyla heard somebody shouting, and as they got closer, she recognized the accent.

Carson was screaming at somebody.

Teyla thought about leaving the Colonel here and taking off, but she knew she had to face the anger of the doctor eventually. Either now or later, it wouldn't make much of a difference.

Before she could enter the infirmary, she saw that Elizabeth was the one the doctor was screaming at. She took pity on her – she knew that somebody had had to wheel the Colonel to the gym, and Elizabeth was most likely that somebody.

Upon entering, Carson's attention was immediately shifted from Elizabeth to John, who was still sound asleep.

"Now, look at what ya've done!" he yelled at nobody in particular.

"He fell asleep on the way here, he must be very tired," Teyla explained, hoping that the appearance of an exhausted John would calm the doctor down somewhat.

Fortunately, it worked. Carson knelt down to see if his patient was alright and wheeled him back to his bed without saying another word. He and Teyla lifted John onto his bed and covered him with a blanket.

Carson looked at Teyla angrily. "We're gonna talk later," he hissed and stomped away, making Teyla shudder.

"Is he gone?"

"I thought you were asleep," Teyla chided, looking down at Sheppard's half-open eyes.

"I woke up when you were moving me." The Athosian smiled, realizing that John had just pretended to be asleep to escape the doctor's anger.

"I know yer awake, and ya'll be spending the next two years in here, I can promise ya that!" Carson yelled from the next room over.

John grimaced at that last statement before giving in to exhaustion and allowing his eyes to drift close. Teyla couldn't help but smile.

Everything was back to normal!

**THE END**

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